Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
