Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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