guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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