Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize