I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
