You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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