I bet he comes in French.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
