the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I need to calm my uterus...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
