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• (813): View more from Florida

  I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number

  (813): View more from Florida

  so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.

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• (845): View more from New York

  You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  And an everlasting friendship

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• (707): View more from California

  I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Are you still in his room?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.

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