AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
