i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
