Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
