I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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