I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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