I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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