He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
