Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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