Screwed.edu
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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