they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
