my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
