The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
