I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
