Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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