One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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