Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
