Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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