I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
