I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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