I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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