I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
