overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
