My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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