I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
