There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
