I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
