I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
