If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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