i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
