Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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