3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
