I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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