Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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