that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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