Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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