my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish you could order shots online.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
