as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
