Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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