Apparently you make a good broom.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize