my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
