ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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