My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
