Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
