Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
