Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
