Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
