I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
