i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Say something about gay babies.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
