babies were throwing up all over the place
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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