so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
