we have pet lesbian snakes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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