Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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