I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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