dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've blown a few things in my day
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
