he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
