ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize