I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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