she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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