i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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