We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
