Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize