Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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