I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
