Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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(706): View more from Georgia

the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.

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(409): View more from Texas

It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

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(416): View more from Toronto

i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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(514): View more from Quebec

OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.

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