Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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