Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
